Watch out Mark Burnett, Donald Trump and Jerry Bruckheimer, Richard Branson has introduced a hybrid adventure-entrepreneurial reality competition that jet streams past all others. The high-octane The Rebel Billionaire (FOX), cleverly derived from the wealthy daredevil’s initials, duplicates the formulas from the most successful shows in the reality competition genre and showcases them all in one. The program combines the entrepreneurial concept from Mark Burnett’s The Apprentice (NBC) with the daredevil adventurism of Fear Factor (FOX) and sets it in the world wide arena like Jerry Bruckheimer’s Emmy winning The Amazing Race (CBS). Burnett and Bruckheimer could call their legal experts in copyright infringement, but they wouldn’t be alone and given that current reality programming all sample from one another, is not worth pursuing. The show is also reminiscent of the Real World / Road Rules: the Gauntlet (VH-1) competition, The Benefactor (ABC), The Bachelorette (ABC), as well as Andy Dick’s hilarious reality show parody, The Assistant (MTV). In fact, while intensely entertaining and presented on a grander spectacular scale, Rebel Billionaire doesn’t seem to offer anything original. In addition, because the show borrows from a variety of programs that differ widely in determining a winner, Rebel Billionaire, seems too arbitrary in the jetsam elimination process. Richard Branson’s mega-spectacular adventure-competition borrows the ideal combination from other successful formulas in the genre, but his random selection of contestant participation and ejection is unbalanced, raising the question of legitimacy.
The CEO adventure enthusiasts in training range from the same typecast mold of other reality series from the most clueless, mundane or dramatic to the most superb in spirit, character, physical fitness and intellect. The latter comprise the four qualifications Branson desires. Although his business acumen could not be more remotely different than Donald Trump’s, his ego is certainly in the same league and wants to promote a cloned version of himself. The age range is also the same of the Apprentice, 24 to 34, perhaps the ideal combination of youth, experience, ambition and adaptability. These mogul hopefuls must be young and fit because unlike Survivor or The Amazing Race, age and fitness are critical factors due to the adrenaline pumping feats the die-hards are subjected to. I can’t imagine what the insurance premiums are on this show! So essentially we have eight men and eight women who signed away life and limb for either public exposure or to compete for the grand prize, one million dollars and unbeknownst to them, supposedly the presidential helm of the Virgin mega-empire. Those who seek exposure, will be… exposed to the most unbelievable stunts imaginable, performed for the sheer entertainment of eccentric Branson’s unique (sadistic?) protégé search. He states that he seeks only the very best and he alone will determine who the brilliant ward shall inherit his Virgin dynasty.
Branson has developed a series of tests to determine character, adventurous spirit, business savvy, and intelligence. Unfortunately, he doesn’t believe in uniform standardized tests so the standard of excellence is not equal to all. His first test examined strength of character. En route to Branson’s Oxfordshire estate, the 16 novice entrepreneurs were driven in groups of 4 in a cab driven by a heavily disguised Richard Branson. His realistic prosthetics give the illusion that he is a very old man. He desired to see how the would-be moguls interact with a common cab driver, with the intent to eliminate two of them immediately based on his first impression. Three of them, Aisha, Shawn and Spencer made the worst impressions by enacting three widely various character flaws. Aisha spoke only of celebrities which made Branson feel she either lacked maturity or depth. Shawn did not help the cab driver with heavy bags and was cocky seeming nonchalant. Spencer was aloof and rude to the driver, seeming elitist. Of the three Branson eliminated Aisha and Spencer. I guess being cocky and nonchalant isn’t that much of a vice for the billionaire set. Mr. Trump, do we have consensus on this observation?
This scenario was done before on the Benefactor in which contestants were eliminated immediately and on The Bachelorette in which the bachelorette disguised herself as an old fat woman in order to eavesdrop on her suitors to hear what they really thought of her. The combination of the two was done best on the reality spoof, The Assistant. In the Assistant, Andy Dick greeted each contestant with a handshake and a question. Then when all were en mass he went off on a huff insulting at least half of the group and fired one unlucky guy who said he was there to “hang out”. He later disguised himself as a vagrant with heavy prosthetic make-up on an outing which didn’t fool anyone but he fired one unlucky girl who tried to pretend that she was fooled with a pretentious huff. Well Branson is not Andy Dick and he dismissed Aisha and Spencer with a hug.
So was that fair to Aisha and Spencer? It doesn’t matter, it’s Branson’s show and he continued to embark on partial explanations of each upcoming challenge only to later surprise the confused combatants with another, “oh by the way, there’s something I didn’t mention…” The dumbfounded 14 involuntary stunt people are then whisked away to the first challenge. Now Branson wants to test their spirit. It involved walking a 3 inch wide plank from one hot air balloon to another…10,000 feet above the Earth! With only fifteen minutes to complete the task, one would wonder how he expected to get all fourteen across. Well, surprise…he didn’t! He pre-selected only 7 of the 14 to partake in the stunt based on criteria known only to himself, and perhaps, his imaginary friend and the voices in his head. What of the other seven? Surely they would perform another stunt equally as hazardous so that everyone is given a fair shake. You would think so, but no. They apparently are exempt from this harrowing task, and subsequently, the elimination process. I guess something in their blank expressions told Branson that these seven do not need to prove themselves potential CEO’s with the ability to plank walk in the stratosphere while the other seven were question marks. The stunt needless to say, is right out of a Fear Factor episode. It is scary but Branson would never ask his pupils to do something he hasn’t done himself…only you have to take his word on it because he sits back in the hot air-balloon basket. The underwear soiling task is performed successfully for all but two, Sarah and Tim who remained behind with Branson as the two balloons majestically separate.
How does Branson determine who will be eliminated? Apparently he researched and devised his answer by watching the entire series of Real World / Road Rules Challenge: the Gauntlet (herein the Gauntlet). MTV created an interesting challenge where former members of each series reunite as two separate teams and compete in various physical tasks to earn $10,000. The rules were that after the task was completed, each team would select a member to represent them in the Gauntlet, a final challenge that sent the selected teammate home. The catch with the Gauntlet was that the team could reselect the same person more than once, every time in fact, because they either felt very confident that person would always win, sending an opponent home, or they disliked that person so greatly, they hoped he or she would fail and be eliminated. If you watch Rebel Billionaire regularly, you may notice similar patterns because the rules permit it. This system can also be seen in the Apprentice, American Idol, He’s a Lady, and others. In this “Gauntlet” style resolution, the two must climb a ladder to the top of the hot air balloon and join Branson for a cup of tea…seriously.
We were told that this stunt has never been performed before and Sir Richard the Brave will be the first. He makes it to the top which was amazing but a bit anti-climatic once you realize the camera crew has already set up base at the summit. The two Gauntlet guinea pigs scramble up the wind blown ladders and both make it, Sarah a full half hour after Tim. So that means Sarah lost and was eliminated right? Wrong! You’re not paying attention if you thought she did…Branson makes the final determination and he arbitrarily decides that even though she was a serial whiner and repeat pessimist, he liked her gumption best. Sarah stays! Tim bows out graciously. Branson doesn’t have a catch phrase like Trump’s “You’re fired!” and he politely leaves the eliminated player out on the tarmac as the Virgin airlines jet roars away to the next destination. But how awesome would it have been if they were all already in mid-flight to the next destination when Branson made his elimination announcement with “You’re ejected!” and the loser had to jump out and parachute back down to earth! I’m just saying.
That concluded the first episode but wait! We are treated to back to back episodes so we quickly rally forth to the next adventure. The transition from Oxfordshire, England to Hong Kong, China was reminiscent of Bruckheimer’s The Amazing Race. Aside from the Donald Trump look-alike invoked for a sight gag before Branson’s own understated entrance, I notice that it is here were Branson really stakes his superior flag over the once dominant Trump. The Donald may be King of New York but Branson is King of the World! Donald Trump may look down at his domain from a gold encrusted penthouse in Trump Tower, but Branson gazes across the horizon from his soon to be realized Virgin Galactica space shuttle. Truly this man is a visionary. In any event, I digress. Once en route, Branson divided the teams by gender, had the teams select their leader and then surprised them with a twist, the appointed leader shall command the opposite gender team. Okay, so maybe he is 50% visionary, 50% copycat…as this has once again been done already on Burnett’s the Apprentice.
The guys nominated Shawn and the women nominated Sarah as an “honor” for their leadership and performance on the first task respectively. Wait a minute…has this become the Shawn and Sarah quest for the best? Why have the cowards ponied up the same two standouts from the herd? Surely Branson will notice the same two repeatedly garnering successive victories while the others seek comfort in anonymity until their fateful time for slaughter? Or do they secretly hope they will crash and burn? Well we discovered that there was at least one miscast person in the bunch as Jennifer confessed later that she had no desire to perform any life-threatening stunts because she feared well, painful bodily harm and imminent death. So perhaps they were just all following the “better him than me” approach. Shawn balked and Germaine stepped up for the men…no wait, Branson pulled a fast one and he led the women’s team. Sarah got to direct the guys.
The entrepreneurial challenge was to devise a luxury item for the Virgin Airlines first class and pitch the idea to Branson. They had a budget of $500 and one day to seek their wares in Hong Kong. The teams were provided with a recommendation by Branson to visit the Giant Buddha attraction. This again reminds me of The Amazing Race, because the teams were provided with an option that could either advance forward or slow down their progress in the task at hand. Indeed the team leaders were uncertain if the recommended site was mandatory toward completion of the task. The men plus Sarah felt pressed for time and wisely opted to place business first, and went to the market with their ideas. Their tenacity paid off as they were able to acquire the Lombard pillow that Steve seemed to carry everywhere with him like a security blanket, an unbreakable mirror, the idea which was to attach to the passengers seat to avoid trips to the restroom for touchups, and cleverly inscribed fortune cookies that combined eroticism with Virgin airlines carry-on slogans. Brilliant, these hodge-podge innovators deserve their win for creativity. The women’s team lead by self-professed master orator, Jermaine put together a last minute gift bag with ho-hum items found in any generic travel kit. Well it did have an ornate red velvet façade…perhaps that was the inspiration they acquired from their lengthy and unnecessary trip to the Giant Buddha distraction? Jermaine probably feels there is a sucker born every minute…unfortunately he lacked the mirror Branson highly praised to see that he was that new born sucker.
The losing team leader, Jermaine, had to select another team member to go up against in the Gauntlet…er, I mean the next Fear Factor challenge… blast, the producers need to help me out here and come up with a name like the Boardroom or Tribal Council. I’ll just call it Branson’s Barf-ometer. The barf-ometer decider was none other than a short stroll in other to pass a baton from one of Branson’s bravest to the next…on a bi-plane’s wing!!! While strapped in by only a harness!!! While one of them is suspended upside down from an inverted bi-plane no less!!! Seriously, someone run some psychiatric tests on Branson, it may be something in the Virgin Cola! Quarter pounder lover Jermaine was deemed to large to perform the stunt so he had to appoint a surrogate. He wisely selected Erica, which really didn’t require much wisdom as their bloodthirsty feud was common knowledge.
In order to prove that Branson would not ask his valiant sheep to perform any task he wouldn’t do himself, he decided to join them in the air strapped onto his own bi-plane. The only difference was that Branson was already strapped into place from the ground while the women must climb out of the safety of the bi-plane carriage, out onto the wing and overhead into the embedded seat. No one was there to make sure the women were securely strapped in while in mid-air, only fastened by their own unprofessional hands. Yeah, really daring there Sir Branson. Once at the designated altitude, the women were cued to engage in their death-defying wing-walk, with 117 mph wind. Hmmm, only one person wins right? If that, I’m sure there’s a clause Branson will “surprise” us with regarding the grand prize touting, “Oh yeah, there’s one other thing I didn’t mention…” So what do the also-rans get who are risking there lives? Three grand per episode like the Survivor cast-offs do? Someone should remind them that they can make as much on there lawyer or business salaries from the safety of the ground in a climate controlled office.
The two women must work together for if they fail after two attempts lasting only 30 seconds each, they will both be eliminated. Huh? I thought the purpose was to eliminate the weaker of the two? Chalk it up to another Branson brain fart and subsequent rule change. It doesn’t matter, the women were successful and better yet, bond over the once in a lifetime experience. Isn’t it nice how cheating death can bring people together and forget what their squabbles were all about? So if they were both unsuccessful they both got eliminated, is it safe to conclude if they were both successful then no one was eliminated? Logic doesn’t exist in the Branson Equation so obviously someone must go…Jermaine; put down those Virgin peanut bags, Branson’s looking at you. After some suspense filled moments we saw that both are spared but Jennifer was going home. Why? She didn’t even compete in anything? Well the way she saw it, that suited her just fine and decided to quit now while her heart was still beating inside her chest. Everyone was elated to hear that their next destination was Africa! Well everyone except for Jerry Bruckheimer who couldn’t get African government clearance until The Amazing Race 6, originally scheduled to air in September but now premieres next week, after Branson bested him! D’oh!
In closing I’d like to offer my own version of random thought pattern and presentation, in honor of Sir Branson’s unique proclivity. I really enjoyed the entire program package, from its opening montage and monologue wherein Branson introduces himself as “Branson…Sir Richard Branson” to the well-times cue of popular James Bond theme song Live or Let Die of the movie with the same title. Branson envisioned himself as a real life James Bond and his life reflects it – a truly amazing and remarkable person. He has made his dream into a reality, thus the embodiment of the ultimate reality experience! Is he a genius or a madman? Perhaps a little of both is required. I know this much, I would trade places with him in a nano-second. If any of these aspiring adventure seekers has the ability to realize that possibility then I envy them. FOX producers have a history of lawsuits so many of these other shows may seek litigious resolution for damages / copyright infringement – of which Branson is also no stranger when he was sued by British Airlines. His ratings are low anyway (2.5 – 5 million viewers) so if the lawyers don’t kill the show, the advertising sponsors will. Let’s hope not, because all the winning elements are there and this promises to be one of the most exciting reality programs ever seen!!!
