I sincerely apologise to Hollywood News readers for failing miserably to write the following article in an objective and serious manner.

Variety reports that Dreamworks studios, which brought us such Oscar-worthy epics as Gladiator and Saving Private Ryan, has picked up the rights to 90s cult TV show Baywatch. The one with, you know, the busty lifeguards running around on a beach all day, without ever messing up their make-up of hair.

No stars of the show has formally been tapped -yet- for the proposed big screen adaptation, as the studio might be looking for fresh, hum, faces to done the fabled red uniform. Just as well, since star and Oscar-contender David Hasselhoff might be too busy with his Spongebob Squarepants duties.

No story line has been suggested by the studio yet, and no date has been given for shooting and release. In the meantime, you can catch Hasselhoff and Spongebob in theatres November 19th.

Again, sincere apologies.