Fox Tales Do you remember the tale about the not-so-clever fox who stole into the vineyard through a hole in the fence and filled his belly up with delicious grapes but couldn’t get back out because he was so bloated? Is that what is happening with the FOX network?
I am not about to take FOX on in a full scale debate because they have had great success as the little upstart which could and did become a force to be reckoned with. If I might digress for a moment here, I want to say that their sitcom record is impressive. They are innovative and have carried “The Simpsons” (the nonpareil of shows and never to be viewed as a simple cartoon) for a long time. It continues to be the most brilliant and hilarious of all. They also have excellent shows like “Arrested Development” and the almost as funny “Cracking Up.” My personal favorite “Andy Richter Rules The Universe” was aired on FOX but didn’t last as long as it should have despite critical acclaim. It was just too creative for other networks and unfortunately never did find the audience it deserved. They take risks that the Big Three Networks would never do. Look at “American Idol.” I don’t know where the show’s producers pitched it first, but I’m willing to bet that somebody turned it down before FOX brought them aboard and never looked back. What a bonanza!
FOX has gone out on a limb with so many shows and have made several forgettable and many regrettable inroads into the reality TV genre. There was “Married by America,” a humiliating exercise in an instant Cup O’ Noodles type of courtship. How about “Mr. Personality” which hopefully was Monica Lewinsky’s one and only foray into the world of entertainment and gave a whole new meaning to latex masks. “Anything For Love” put people in some dreadfully awkward situations but gave us the overplucked brows of Claudia di Folco who made her reappearance later as the edgy, humorless host(ess) of “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé.”
“The Next Joe Millionaire” was a true shocker since the original was Fox’s biggest hit ever! But David Smith was no Evan Marriott. Hell, Evan Marriott was no Evan Marriott, thinking about it. It was a one-trick pony. The big galoot who hated lying to women about his non-existent fortune is now hosting “Fake A Date” on the Game Show Network (GSN).
Oh, the irony!
FOX’s other major and minor successes include The Simple Life, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé, Paradise Hotel and probably a few more that don’t come to mind immediately.
Dinner At The FOX Buffet May Not Always Be Tasty Now they have a newer, although not necessarily better version of that Hook-Up Hotel with the barely disguised title of “Forever Eden.” It all began with “Temptation Island” which was reviled by critics and shunned by audiences. Nevertheless, it began a trend that would go on for years by paving the way for the romance reality shows.
FOX’s latest offering is a so-called romance reality series, “Playing It Straight.” The first offense committed by the producers of this show is that it takes place at a dude ranch in Elko, Nevada! What is that about? How dare they leave the mansions of Malibu and Palm Springs or even Hawaii behind and go to dusty old Nevada? Secondly, the premise is nauseating. If the Melana/Trista/Meredith/Erin/Larissa clone named Jackie chooses to “reach the next level and see where it leads” with a guy that turns out to be gay, she is screwed figuratively but not literally speaking. There might be a twist to this at the end where she is given some cash if she makes that fatal error. Even the seemingly heartless “Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé” rewarded Randi with a full million bucks – well, she did have to share it with her family – for her pain, anguish and suffering. But as tasteless as it was in part, this show was damn funny. In fact, the finale “killed” in the ratings.
Look Who’s Bashing Here’s what’s bothering me about “Playing It Straight” – it is not a cute, funny or endearing show with loads of horny guys drooling over one little missy. Instead, it is a complete gay-bashing show. Trust me, I am no believer in political correctness and if these guys want to put themselves out there for me and others to write about them, so be it. However, the whole feeling of suspicion and accusations has turned this particular series into a very uncomfortable situation. The men, both gay and straight are calling each other out for being gay with stupid “evidence” like owning a hair dryer, looking in the mirror too much and using 'product' in their grooming as well as pronouncing certain words in a certain way. Are we in the McCarthy era?
During the last episode there was a scene in a tent made up to look like a Western Saloon. One of the guys deliberately got another to drink tequila shots and beer while he pulled the bartender’s trick of spitting his shot back into the beer bottle, letting Eddie get wasted. It was definitely Eddie’s choice to do so, but it was a well concentrated effort to put him into an embarrassing position. After a very drunk Eddie stumbled into the hot tub clad in his tight boxer briefs, Ryan (who was already in there) decided to turn this opportunity to his advantage and made all sorts of physical and verbal advances causing the blitzed-out-of-his-wits Eddie to whisper Spanish nothings into Ryan’s ear. In an unsubtle attempt to “out” him, Ryan ran through the house yelling “Eddie is gay” over and over again. It was ugly.
Jackie, who claims to be innocent and has proven it by dumping 2 other straight guys made it 3 to 1 when she got rid of odious Ryan and finally nailed a gay guy (because he was “too quiet”) named Alex. She seemed so proud of herself. Isn’t this fun?
There is even a dog named Gaydar and a “closet confessional.” It’s like living in the Nazi era where people are “sniffed out” because of their sexual preference while they do their best to hide it and point the finger at others.
One of Jackie’s “tests” is to see whether the guys will all kiss her because she is convinced that gays would not want to kiss a woman. Has she ever heard of acting? What’s so damn tough about kissing a person of the same gender? Women do it all the time. Okay, maybe not tongue tussling, but they are used to hugging and kissing each other. In many cultures, men kiss and embrace to show affection, especially in the Latin cultures. Jackie is as naïve as Simon Cowell is sharp-tongued. I just had to mention Simon’s name here because I love his cruel but fair judgments and we were talking about tongues, weren’t we?
I have only viewed two episodes of this show while working out on my elliptical machine. By the way, I don’t want you people thinking I sit in my recliner watching some of this crap. I put my time to good use. It makes the time pass in a mindless way and I’m more fit because of my dual tasking.
End Game I don’t know how this series will end. I don’t think it will get any prettier. There will be more set-ups and back-stabbings and accusations while the gay guys will try to limit their flirting to only Jackie and the straight guys will defend their masculinity ad nauseam. They will try not to be seen grooming too much and will limit the words with the letter S in them. It’s a freakin’ witchhunt!
Personally, I don’t understand what this show is supposed to do for heterosexuals, gay pride, romance or anything. It’s all about the money which is cool with me since I am a capitalist, but there are less embarrassing, debasing ways to try and score.
Once again, FOX is pushing the envelope of bad taste, but they’ve done it before and sometimes it pays off. I don’t think it will this time.
Something that FOX should keep in mind is that people will watch repulsive and sleazy stuff, but most of them will draw the line at stupid and witless offerings.
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