Why they keep trotting out the rejects is totally beyond me, but here we go again. Adam Mesh, the schnook that Melana rejected in favor of pretty boy Jason is baaaaaack. This time he’s doing the choosing. We’ve returned to the scene of the crime, the mansion at Palm Springs, and now it’s Adam who is large and in charge. At first, we almost take pity on him as he is bemoaning his past rejection by beauty queen Melana who has just landed a huge gig on the GSN (Game Show Network) as host of a series on Blackjack. He walks through the hangar which was the scene of his last humiliation and ponders his fate. He still cannot get over the fact that while Melana is shooting him down and he watches her lips moving, he could swear that she’s telling him how much she loves him and cannot live without him. Oh Adam!
A Busload Arrives
The busload of females pulls up and we have a veritable mélange of women. They range from nice looking with good bodies to weird and corpulent stalker types. They have one thing in common - they are all avaricious. As usual, they have “fallen in love with Adam.” How any one can fall in love with this slack mouthed bug-eyed guy is beyond me. That is not to say that I am not fascinated by “the process” and the entire new glossary that we have acquired which takes relationships to a “new level” where “connections” are felt instantly and everyone is “amazing.” What a brave new world.
Adam - The Man Himself
Adam intrigues me. During Average Joe 1, he wowed Melana with his Fortune Magazine article which described his capabilities and assets, he introduced her to his pals at the trading firm where he is a partner and yet couldn’t resist the siren song of that less than 15 minutes of fame and fortune which his TV appearance accorded him. He’s a combination of an overgrown kid and a savvy guy. Why he let himself in for this adventure is anyone’s guess. Perhaps he didn’t want Melana have the last word.
Many bizarre things occurred during the first episode. He has a few of his old pals from the show help in selecting the right woman for him because he obviously can’t get it right on his own. There is that connoisseur of the fair sex, Dennis, who is kept busy looking through the various applications and chuckling at videos of women debasing themselves by saying stupid things. He is willing to put himself “in jeopardy” for Adam. Then the self proclaimed genius/oracle Tareq who obviously gave up his professorship in order to render his help and sage advice. We are reminded of those never to be forgotten words that he dazzled Melana with when he referred to the “simplicity of her complexity.” He doesn’t fail us now as he says that “Love is tainted by humans” which is some more gobbledygook. This guy is a pompous ass that doesn’t see his own limitations. He is helping out at some online dating service (eHarmony) to find that perfect woman for Adam. In fact, he’s found three. But wait, there’s more. The fat guys who were among the first to be kicked off by Melana and complained bitterly about it, are back on the scene and now they are licking their wounds by rejecting women and saying, “You’re not pretty enough to come on TV.” They pledge to find a “hot piece of ass” for Adam. Is this overkill, I ask you? However, Adam is willing to put himself in the hands of these “experts.”
Women - All Shapes, All Sizes, All Mad For Adam
A veritable cornucopia of diverse women alight from the bus. The scariest are the three Jennifers. They are overweight, unattractive and manic. The most frightening one is 23 year old Jennifer (Jenn L) Lipshitz who already pictures the two of them going to places together and every one who sees them is smiling at them because they simply cannot help themselves since the happy couple has matching smiles. This scenario is as insane as Jenn L. herself appears to be. She firmly believes that she is the “number One reason why they should be together. There is also the desperate 23 year old who doesn’t want to be the last in her crowd to get married. Am I having a VH1 “Remember the 50s” flashback moment? There is Anna, the 8th grade teacher who makes Janet Jackson look like a nun compared to her bare-breasted outfit. What the hell is she teaching these kids? The 35 year old scary lawyer who says she is really a corporate concierge makes me wonder if they’ve heard of that job description in France. Who are these women, and where in hell did they come from? What a strange brew.
This is no longer the case of “developing feelings” as the days progress, but some of these women declare themselves to be instantly in love with this fine figure of a man. In my humble opinion, Adam would be better off on Extreme Makeover. This guy needs work. I’m not only talking on the outside – he definitely had problems focusing and keeping his wits about him at times. He was not at ease, but that didn’t matter to the women who kept making semi-lewd offers of instant hot tubbing or making out in the photo booth.
However, the real shocker was that the most gorgeous girl who gets off the bus is blond, perfectly made up, and she is – A MAN! It is none other than Jason Peoples, the only guy that Melana wanted to kiss and whisk off in that jet plane with her. He startles Adam or makes him horny, or has come to rub some more salt into Adam’s slowly heating wounds because he looks even better than fake Melana! I remember when Melana boldly asked Jason if he was gay. He makes a good looking girl.
Early Dismissal And Sorrow
In true Adam fashion he is not above displaying his sensitivity when it comes to giving four of the women the heave-ho. Dammit, he hates to do it, but somebody has to. In his own words, “Who am I to tell people to go home?” I don’t know, Adam, but I’m willing to take a wild stab at it and answer with “Because you want to feel what it’s like to be on the other side of this humiliating 3-ring circus.” Am I close?
I don’t believe for a minute that true love awaits our hero and neither does anyone else in their right mind. At least I hope not. His so called friends and experts are simply media whores back to bask in the limelight for a few more minutes. Maybe that’s part of the human condition.
Can I Believe Any Of This?
Personally, I think that this show and others like it are great for the furnished mansion rental business. I cannot even begin to imagine what the cost of renting one of these properties must be but there is money to be made. There is also the liability factor. If damages are incurred through negligence of cast and crew then there are even more bucks to be earned. The last Bachelor show was sued by the savvy attorney/owners who claimed a lot of money for destruction of some of the property. It certainly opens up a whole new market.
Back to Adam and his harem. What possible good can come of this? How will it all turn out? Despite my lack of self-respect in watching these people make fools of themselves, I feel an inner glee when the women that never even had a chance to let Adam get to fall in love with them are sent packing. Isn’t life unfair?
Email webmaster
Write An Article!
![ETV Store](<IMG SRC="images/store.gif" WIDTH="129" HEIGHT="17" BORDER="0" ALT="ETV Store">){kind=link}