Love And Hate On The North Shore This series is new to me but it contains a lot of old stories. Ten years after graduation, some members of the Class of ’93 of Round Rock High School located outside Austin, Texas, have gathered in a beautiful resort setting on the North Shore of Oahu for a reunion.
At first, things seem harmonious and idyllic. We meet the Homecoming Queen, the Quarterback, the Jock, the Player, the Teen-Age Mom, the Wallflower, the Gay Guy, the Redneck, the Class Clown, the Pipsqueak, the Geek, the Drama Queen, the Ugly Duckling, and the Ex. Now that last one, “The Ex” is really a misnomer. Denise, who was a cheerleader in her time and married Gabe, the Jock, right after high school was not the “Ex” until 6 years after their marriage. This is not a show that should be rated on accuracy.
There are also three women from the Sophomore class that are introduced during the second episode. They are here to wreak havoc and avenge themselves. They are, in order of troublemakers: The Sophomore Vixen, the Flirt, the Sweetheart (God only knows why) and the Wallflower.
This is a journey that these seventeen people chose to take in order to get together in Hawaii to have fun and share fond memories of those great high school days. However, the way things turn out there was so much pain inflicted and so many grudges held, that the gap could simply not be bridged.
We meet Gabe, the jock who married his girlfriend Denise straight out of high school. Then there is Lenny, the geek that no one really remembered, LouAnn, the Homecoming Queen that arrived with her own little clique and other assorted players.
The one thing that becomes clear almost immediately is that no one has changed. Perhaps that is a lesson for us all to learn – we don’t change, we only grow. Some of us, that is.
Denise is now divorced from Gabe after six years and two kids. She came here with the express purpose of winning Gabe back and fixing up their marriage. Now that’s a tall order. Her friends include lovely LouAnn who has a long term boyfriend at home but is re-discovered by her high school sweetheart, Johnny the Quarterback. He is trying to re-kindle the fire that had turned to ashes when he went on to college and never spoke another word to her. Suddenly, he shows up and expects her to pick up where they left off. This almost works through the benevolence of a Hall Pass which allows LouAnn to meet Johnny again and shortly thereafter they get to spend two days and nights together. By the second night, even though they have been fighting those feelings, they have not only re-kindled the fires of old, but have set things ablaze.
LouAnn has a boyfriend at home and seemed content until she got to see Johnny again. At first in a state of bliss, she is willing to give herself over to her feelings. In the cold light of day she questions why he never tried to get in touch with her for ten long years since their graduation. Easy going Johnny has no answer nor any expectations.
Meanwhile Gabe and Denise also get to go on a Hall Pass and although Gabe wouldn’t speak to his ex-wife upon his arrival she manages to at least make him sentimental about their past connection. They spend two days together and I’m not quite sure if they’ve connected although they do share a kiss at day’s end on the beach which is a Hawaiian custom that I just made up. Gabe appears so resistant to Denise's overtures that he is practically catatonic.
The Revenge Of The Killer Sophomore Tomatoes And Others However, things begin to look a little promising for them until Heather, the Villainess with her three cohorts, the Sophomore Debs, appear on the scene. You see, Heather was Gabe’s girlfriend before Denise made Heather’s life hell and was mean and nasty to her every single solitary horrible day and on top of that, stole Gabe away from her by telling him she was pregnant which turned out to be a big fat lie! Oh no! Heather can’t stand it. She wants Gabe back. Who could have imagined such drama?
Heather does get time alone with Gabe and they appear to have fun. However, her expectations are way off the charts, although he does nothing at the time to discourage her. This is tragic because her feelings are still strong for him and she thinks he feels the same. I am just ready to burst into tears except that I can’t stand Heather, her fat ass, her fake boobs and her aggressive manner. I don’t like Denise very much either, and I think Gabe is a total wimp.
At the same time, there is another huge drama raging. It seems that Daniel, the Gay Guy has been treated poorly and has had to bear the brunt of T.J. the Redneck and many other bullies in the school. Daniel came out, or was out, during those dreadful adolescent years and was shunned and reviled by many of his classmates. Daniel and T.J. have been put into the same room at the whim of the producers of this show. They are such instigators. Daniel has felt the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune and wants payback. When T.J. moves out of the room as soon as he discovers who his roommate is, the game is on. Daniel may be gay, but he is pretty tough. He challenges T.J. to a boxing match and even though he is beaten, he is not unbowed. As if by magic, T.J. now has respect for Daniel and even sees shared traits. Please somebody, give me a break!
Need I mention that Mike Fleiss, producer of such hits as “Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire?” (remember Darva Conger and that fiasco?), “Are You Hot?” (the most tasteless show to date unless you want to count “The Littlest Groom”), “The Bachelor/Bachelorette” and his biggest hit “Babytalking Trista and Big Fireman Ryan’s Wedding” as well as his latest, “The Swan”, also produces this show. He is also Heidi Fleiss' second cousin. Mike has a new upcoming series, “The Two Timer” which will air this summer. I have a feeling little Mikey is not going to be out of a job anytime soon.
Back to the Reunion. Lenny, the Geek, arrives on the scene with hair down to his butt and just flounces around while announcing that even at mealtime it is “dining for one.” He is rescued at last by two fair maidens from the Sophomore class and taken for a makeover which basically includes shearing his locks, trimming his beard and choosing the ugliest 70s brown tee-shirt with stripes that the cast of “Dazed and Confused” would even refuse to wear. However, the girls moan in ecstasy and tell him he's hot. Upon his return his classmates are now ready to give him a rousing cheer and the time of day.
Lenny has been struck by instant self-esteem and is ready to ask a hot girl out when he receives his Hall Pass. He selects Stacy, the Sophomore Flirt (stay with me here) to go out with him. Much to his surprise and alarm she accepts. His palms are sweaty, he’s shaking in his flip-flops but he picks her up at her dorm and off they go to spend the evening in Honolulu which is the one place you want to stay away from when you travel to Hawaii. The two appear to have a good time even though they don’t share as much as a smooch at the end of the evening, but that’s okay because our boy feels like he’s just been transported to Paradise. His short hair and new found confidence have given him that boost because he keeps repeating throughout the date that he would never have had the guts to ask a girl as hot as Stacy out before.
Other transformations take place as well. Suddenly, Amanda, the Sophomore Tease, and Trevor, the Pipsqueak also share a romantic date and this one involves a nice kiss right at the beach. Now, that’s what I’m talking about.
Skinny Dipping At Night Is Naughty The Sophomore babes are going to entice the Senior guys in every possible way. Here’s their plan: Get nice and juiced, wear your thong bikinis, rip off your tops and plunge into the Ocean. Alrightttttttt! Here we go. A couple of those girls should not be showing off their backsides, especially Heather, but that girl is just headed for trouble.
The girls are lit in more ways than one when joined by Trevor, the Pipsqueak and Tre, the Player. The others just stand back and watch this fiasco while expressing horror and dismay. It’s strictly for the camera, I’m thinking at this point.
Tre, the Player has been conspicuously absent from any major events other than skinny dipping with the Sophomore Sluts. He hasn’t received a Hall Pass and neither have a few of the girls. This series was set up so that only those with a huge axe to grind or a wound to heal would be given that chance on camera.
Heather’s Real Agenda Big Buxom Blonde Heather’s plan is to win back Gabe before he falls prey to Denise’s charms again. She wants him back and imagines that she has a chance if they can get away from that bitch Denise. As if by magic, she receives a Hall Pass and asks Gabe to join her on a romantic date. He refuses and tells her not to look upon it as a rejection. Oh, no way. Denise is dumfounded. He says that he has been missing out on the entire experience of being with his old high school pals. He’s done it once and is not ready to do it again. He slides out of that one by giving her a hug and leaving.
Now it appears that Heather has traded in her Hall Pass for a Vengeance Pass. Her rage has been re-directed at the Senior girls who made her life a living hell, specifically Denise. Fortuitously, a luau is planned and the Senior girls get all decked out in grass skirts. I never saw them dance at all so I imagine that they wore them for fun as they watched the show while the Soph Debs extracted their revenge.
Led by Heather, Stacy, Amanda and Jeralyn go on a rampage which they had planned earlier. They toilet paper the room, throw bras up on the ceiling fans, leave graffiti on mirrors and walls and trash the beds. It’s just amazing that the cameras were there to record it all.
The Seniors get back from their funfest after being alerted and they shriek at the damage and swear to get even. And do you know what it’s all about? It seems to be all about the nasty things that they (Heather) had to bear while they were Sophomores and the Seniors (Denise) never apologized to them (Heather.) This is sickening. I detest all of them.
Daniel sits in on all of this and then says that he does not want to be a part of it. Heather’s cohorts want Denise to apologize. Denise says that this all happened ten or eleven years ago. But, wait, she never even said she was sorry. Well, then go and say it now, Denise. No way, she has to come to me, I’m so over it.
Ultimately, Heather does approach Denise and she is even given an apology of sorts, but that’s not good enough. Don’t forget Heather has been rejected by Gabe and now Denise isn’t really sorry! I swear, this is going to turn into “Carrie” at any moment.
Bottom Line They are almost done with their two weeks in Paradise but what have they gained from their time together?
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