In case you’re wondering, the title is a lyric from the Glen Campbell song, Rhinestone Cowboy, which I always think of when I see David Smith, this season’s Joe Millionaire.
Glen sings:
Like a rhinestone cowboy,
Riding out on a horse in a star spangled rodeo.
Like a rhinestone cowboy,
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know,
And offers coming over the phone
Swap Oatmeal Circuit for star spangled rodeo and 14 European beauties for people I don’t even know, and you have David.
I’m already worried about him pulling the whole millionaire thing off. I mean, he called Paul, the butler, “Sir” so much, it was hard to tell which one was the butler. Then, we got to observe his crash course in how to be a millionaire. There’s definitely something ironic about the butler teaching the rich guy how to act rich. I loved how Dave asked where the Dutch live and when told, said, “is that where they wear the wooden shoes?”
But the good thing is that the women are just as clueless as David. There are 14 of them from 5 countries in Europe where the show has never aired. When they find out David is a cowboy, one of the women said that to Europeans, a cowboy is a joke. Another says that a cowboy is a “redneck riding a horse.” Someone thinks that you have to live in Texas to be a cowboy. Another wants to live on a ranch and eat ranch dressing. *sigh* This is going to be a LONG season.
So what do European women look for in an American millionaire? A Lenny Kravitz-Keanu Reeves-James Bond-muscular-blonde-tanned Adonis who’s funny, good-looking and intelligent. Add to this their perception of cowboys as laughable bumpkins and I’m thinking David doesn’t stand a chance.
But that was before Samantha, the hostess, tells them that David is worth more than 80 million dollars. Suddenly, cowboy is chic and cool. You could almost see the wheels in their greedy minds turning, trying to figure out how to woo David and appear to like it. Heck, Alessia even had on a tee shirt that said “cowgirl!”
Lubricated by all the champagne they consumed, they now start humming the theme music from Dallas and hastily try to rationalize the fact that he’s a cowboy. Cat suddenly no longer minds that he wears jeans and has an accent (after all, she does too - to us). Jerusha is now impressed. I can’t help but respect Petra who flat out states that she doesn’t care what David’s like – she’s looking for diamonds and pearls. At least she's honest.
What will David think of this bunch? He already told us that he was looking for someone nice, who doesn’t swear or acts like a guy. I got the distinct impression that, to him, “acting like a guy” means doing anything except being barefoot, pregnant and speaking only when spoken to. No wonder he can’t find an American woman! It might have worked back in 1975 when Glen Campbell sang Rhinestone Cowboy, but there has been a revolution since then, Dave, in case you didn’t know.
Getting back to the women, judging by some of the careers they have and their worldliness, I think David is going to have a long, uphill ride trying to convince them he’s a millionaire. He might have an easier chance if he told them he had been raised in a monastery or had won the lottery recently. Or, maybe he could tell them he was thrown from his horse and that’s why he appears so “slow.”
At least the dollar signs on the rose-colored glasses worn by many of the women will blind them to the fact that he’s not what he seems. They all appeared happy to meet him and seemed suitably impressed when he rode up on his horse. I suppose the next few weeks (if the show lasts that long – I’ve read that ratings have been abysmal) will tell us how he fares and if he can keep up the charade. I’m rooting for you, Dave; you know we Americans love an underdog!
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