The upside down turn of events in the Pearl Islands set in motion by the disinterred “Outcasts” was interesting enough, I suppose, to dilute any suspected Survivor torpor, though I certainly hope Mark Burnett and company will lay this stunt to a final rest alongside Osten’s snuffed torch. And, judging by the Neilsen ratings Survivor 7 has garnered to this point, there was hardly a necessity to unveil it.
There may be other “game shows” where just such a repatriation of “losing” contestants is valid and maybe a worthwhile plot enhancer, but in this specific instance with Survivor, I believe it was a gaseous detour that was distracting and ultimately unjust to those who stood ground at Morgan and Drake.
It was also somewhat fantastic that a television show whose schemata purports to reveal and glorify the absolute backbone of individual and communal strength---both physical and mental---while sloshing pell-mell through the harshest of adversities (give or take...), instead introduced us to a frightful host of rather utilitarian human moronic tics that were better left not broadcast.
Being subjected to the ceaseless whining by a group of adults about having been voted off in a particular Survivor episode is fairly unattractive, unsurprising and extremely unproductive from even an entertainment standpoint. After all, what else are we to expect from a group of people who were all expecting, at some point, to be gawked at on a hugely popular television show and win one million dollars; or at the very least, hatch into a small fry celebrity signing autographs at the local mini-mart. What purpose is there in witnessing a Pavlovian response? Is somebody---besides Osten---supposed to be happy about being voted off? To watch a tribe of supplicants howl mirthlessly about rejection, personal justification and revenge due to a structured set of open processes in what in essence is a game...is patently obnoxious. That Survivor writers and producers would honor these carping doppelgangers, who are products of the very system they created, is equally repugnant.
The dog and pony show for our most recent “class” grant writing for victimization status was the Outcast Tribal Council. Besides hearing Skinny Ryan bleat about ”I was never let into the tribe” or “I felt like an outcast” while wearing a head scarf that read “Die Jerks,” or Michelle saying that “we’ve been all kicked in the face” and “winning for revenge... kicking those asswipes,” or Nicole letting on that “I was voted out for being the bad apple... speaking my mind,” it was all hogwash better left for some therapy guru. However, the rube that takes the prize for the most audacious execration is our dowdy Lillian who in one moment yammers boldly about, “I gave it my all... I still want to prove to them sons of bitches that I’m tough... and I want to go back in their HARD.” Yet mere seconds later when it was revealed that she had been voted back in the game snorts, “AAAAHHH!... Oh my God!... I AM a nice person!... Oh my God... Ooooh baby!... Oh my God!... my HEART!...” This last yelp exited while she was patting her chest. Somebody please tell Lillian and the other Outcasts that except for one person, basically everybody else is voted off. In the previous six Survivors only six people won. 90 people were voted bye-bye. Chill.
While I still lay awake at night, tossing about, trying to figure out the hows and whys Morgan in general and its leader, Andrew Savage, in particular could not ever, ever hook a single fish---even while entering the nascent stages of starvation (while Rupert invaded one day and snagged several)---I had to empathize with Mr. Savage the night he saw Lillian reenter the Morgan camp. He just had to know that that dour simpleton was never going to forgive and forget. Every gnat of indiscretion and fleeting illusion of treachery was going to be bolted into that brain like day-old oatmeal. Hell hath no fury... She was done wrong, sir; this lady has been harmed! The whole sad Morgan lot had to know that Lillian was going to send them all down the river as soon and as smelly as possible. Golly, you don’t mess with a Boy Scout Troop Leader while in full uniform.
So, the next dreary day after a long arduous rainy night---with Lillian the supplied nightmare---here stands Andrew, staring cooly at Lillian, still festooned in Boy Scout uniform, through hollow, desolate eyes: “We killed ourselves to make it five-five... so we could go into the merge even. And then we go yesterday to the Reward Challenge, and this happens... we’re like... what the hell?” Andrew’s Morgan dream was about to come crashing down and he knew it to his bones. Lillian just looked at him glumly, like usual, just waiting for the right moment to pounce with her pouty bomb blast---the thing that’s been ticking away in her head liked rigged dynamite for the last two weeks: “But you didn’t get back to me before Tribal Council like you said.” She would save this morsel for Andrew at the precise moment he sought to save his Morgan clan from decimation, post Balboa merge feast. This was Lillian’s entire justification for her traitorous infamy. Parenthetically, I wonder how fellow “Outcast” Nicole feels about being screwed-over by Lillian, whom she confided in for an early alliance, and also receiving her vote off? Or am I getting too triangulating?
Of course, Burton goes to Drake with hat in hand and the whole tribe makes up with him joyfully within minutes. Rupert gushes, “Yeah, we traded up... he pumped Drake up immediately.” Burton knows his advantage is to ingratiate himself once again with Drake because they respect him and need his abundant strength and resolve. Lillian knows her one and only advantage is in jumping ship and hightailing it to the Drake sidelines because she is utterly useless to the Morgan tribe except maybe as an eccentric mascot, and more importantly because she holds grudges. Burton’s ability to rise above the emotional stigma of being shunned will serve him well in staying strong with Drake and tempting the likes of Lillian to crossover and vote accordingly. Another hilarious instance of Lillian and her eerie bafflement took place after the merge and Burton was hectoring her to switch sides: “If you come over and vote with us I think we can go really far... really far.” Lillian looks up (glumly) at Burton, “Are you sure?” Later... “Burton took me aside... ‘It’s like this, we’re going to go all the way, you and I... the Drake Tribe wants you and you only.’ I have to think he’s on the up and up.” Yeah, the Drake side of Balboa have got themselves a real jewel. At the very least she’ll vote as commanded.
What is especially peeving to me is that because of Lillian’s quaint sense of personal insult we were faced with the spectacle of having the hapless Andrew of Morgan (hapless in fishing circles and in firing cannonballs) thrown out of Balboa while the freakish Jon of Drake remains. While maybe hapless, Andrew was surely a respectable man who was intensely loyal and loving to the remaining five Morgans---including Osten. Jon, on the other hand, is a player, an actor, and an egotistical bore whose frequent lampoonish skits performed while casting his Tribal Council votes---I guess to insure their broadcast and his stardom---only further erode any civility we may thought he possessed. His oafish, surly gag while casting his vote for the clearly more noble Andrew was almost pornographic. He drew his voice into a ghoulishly guttural roar, “OOOOH yeahaa!... listen macho Mr. Savage... goin’ down... dig it!” Needless to say, I hope Lillian someday chokes on Jon. Of course this whole screwed-up funky scenario is courtesy of Survivor. Thanks a bunch.
If anyone had any doubts as to Andrew’s incorrigible love of Morgan and his sincere efforts to save it from extinction one only has to recall his words after being shown the door by Jeff Probst. Andrew turned around and pointed to somewhere beyond, “RyanO, D, T... hang tough.” Moments later, his final thoughts: “I am unbelievably proud to be part of the Morgan tribe. We went through hell... cheers to Morgan. RyanO, D, T... stick it to Drake. Show them what we’re made of and continue to make all of us proud.” One can’t get more devoted and chivalrous than that. Not one word about himself. I salute him.
The other poignant moment in the midst of all the Outcast chaos and Balboa merging and Lillian, was Rupert baring his soul to Burton while attempting to explain why he cast a vote against him. While Rupert might have stepped off his pedestal during his monstrous blow-up with Jon in the last episode, he certainly has come close to sitting back up upon its perch with this latest bit of personal lore and wisdom---as well as his incredible Aquaman performance during the “keelhaul” Immunity Challenge. The morning after Burton’s arrival at Drake, Rupert took him aside and dug deep to explain his initial disdain for the more svelte Burton: “You laughed at me and my dress and made me feel bad. I heard you say something about, uh, a big kid in a sandbox... laughin’ at me about my plumber’s crack... that hurt me. You took that role that every jock in my life has taken. I was beneath you guys. I heard you guys laugh and joke about me.” Stunningly, Rupert went further, deeper: “I portray a very strong and independent person, but in my head I’m that fat little terrified kid that was picked-on in school all of his life.” Saying things such as these is refreshingly real and maybe being on an island with strangers and all that can be cathartic. Maybe it’s part of his game, maybe not---whatever, it was good for him and it was good for us to hear. I just wish for however long Rupert stays afloat he could have done so with someone like Andrew Savage by his side. They would have made quite a fine pair. Fish aside.
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